Getting Up and Getting With It

All right. Finally I am now an official blogger.  Thanks Nicholas (l0l).  I have had so much to say, but avoided saying it out loud, on paper, until now. Let me give a quick shout of support to all of my clients and students who recently took part in my Personal Life Management Seminar Series.  These powerful women and men are taking on their challenges with the understanding that, “giving up is not an option.”  Many of them came from various walks of life, but their common bond is to make better decisions that empower them to no longer need TANF (Temporary Aide for Needy Families) also known as welfare.  Let me just say, I have a serious problem with labels that tend to stigmatize people.  We are just people. At times we are people who need a little extra help.  Now if you are not willing to help yourself even after receiving assistance from others, I’m not talking about you. 

We can all agree and tell from the news, that people are having a tough time these days.  You have more week than money.  The bill collectors are definately not UNEMPLOYED.  They call everyday. Call me if you would like to have me serve as your answering service (lol).  They are doing their job now let’s do ours.  One of the major things that I recently shared with the group was the need for your very on ‘personal anthem,’ a song or series of songs containing messages that support you, strenghten you and encourage you to become the person you choose to be.  We really had fun with this exercise.  Everyone gave me a song for the list.  Here are just a few of them:  ‘Brown Skin’ (India Arie),  ‘Spolight’ (Jennifer Hudson), Never Would Have Made It (Marvin Sapp), Fat Bottom Girl (Queen), Booming (Toby Mack), I Can Only Imagine (Mercy Me), Hit Me with Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar), Feel Like A Woman (Shania Twain), Don’t Stop Believing (Journey), and Just Fine (Mary J. Blige).

The goal of the exercise is to help you identify a song, beat, and rhythm that connects you to a ‘vibe to be happy.’  Usually how we feel is based on what we are thinking.  What we are thinking is based on what we hear, see, or believe.  Wouldn’t it be great to feel go most of the time?  YES!!!!  I know we all have days that are preceived as bad, but sense this is apart of life, why not make the most of it.

I recall a time I had just broken-up with this guy.  I was in college and Lord knows a heartbeat experience was the last thing I needed.  One weekend I decided to take a trip home.  I jumped in my little car. Grabbed my cassette tapes and hit the road.  As I was driving down, I-35 heading west, I popped in Toni Braxton’s hits also featured in the movie Boomarang.  I confess. I had my own personal copy of the movie that I watched practically everyday.  Anyway.  Toni’s song Breathe Again came on.  As she sang, “if I never feel you in my arms again. if I never feel your tender kiss again. if I never hear I love you now and then. Then I promise you, that I shall never breathe again. “  Before I knew it I was getting mad. But why?  This was her song, but not necessarily my truth.  I mean I missed the guy and all, but not being able to breathe was a serious matter.  My deeper belief was that God gave me the breath of life and He trusted me to make the most of it.

By the time Toni Braxton’s song Seven Whole Nights began to play. I tearfully sang along. “Seven whole nights.  Not a word from you. I can’t take it.  I had about enough of you. I wanna be on my own.” Suddenly, I ejected the cassette tape out of the player.  Opened the sunroof of my car and tossed the entire tape out the window and onto the highway.  (Sorry Ms. Braxton).  It became apparent to me that I needed to be heading in a different direction if I wanted to be happy and free.  The songs I was listening to sent my heart spiraling down into the dumps.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Toni Braxton.  I even had the distinct honor of  singing with her on stage at one of her performances in Las Vegas. (visit my website to see it. www.DeloresInspiresMe.com). 

This opportunity happened several years after this toss and I was now mature enough and whole enough to listen to Toni’s music and not overreact emotionally.  I can now appreciate the lyrics because it reminds me of a part of my distant past that I have made it through.  I now have a Cd copy of that cassette (lol).  I’m a big girl now.  The point is to make sure you can handle what you are listening to.  Understand where the message and music takes you mentally, spiritually and psychologically.  Make sure the beat you are feeling is in step with where you are planning to go with your life. 

Blessings,

Delores

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