How many of us just hates when someone stands in front of us blocking our view, especially when we are sitting down in a seat like at a concert? Now, you really can’t see or enjoy your favorite music artist that you paid, let’s say $90, to watch perform your favorite hit. Tell the truth. How many of you would touch the person blocking your view and ask them to move out of your way? Others might just sit there and complain while missing out on what is happening because for whatever reason, he or she decides to do nothing.
Earlier today I had a meeting with a client. We met to help her identify what she believed she wanted and needed to do to better herself and her situation. I simply asked one question, “what do you want to do?” She said, “anything, I just need a job.” Her response was desperate and too vague. After a little coaching and conversation she said, “I really want to go to school.”
With this in mind, I told her that at the college level she could apply for a ‘work-study position” where the school she would attend pays her a small stipend and allows flexible working hours for her to successfully complete her classes. She looked surprised and slightly relieved until SHE starting talking about all of the past bad things that she had experienced while in school. Fifteen years ago, she was told by a teacher that she had a learning disability and needed more time to read and process her work. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do it. It would only take her a little longer to finish.
Despite her initial challenges in school she had managed to successfully complete a training program and received a certificate from a four-year university. For some of the students it was just a piece of paper, however, for her this was progress! Nevertheless, every time I offered a suggestion on how she could obtain her goal of getting a job or going back to school, she would say “Yeah, you’re right, but I cannot…..but I don’t think…..but it might not…” Before I knew it I said, “Girl you keep putting your “butt” in the way.
My statement about her ‘butt’ being in the way immediately got her attention. She looked puzzled and I explained what I meant. “If you noticed that your own butt was in your face, hopefully you would automatically know that something is wrong and out of place.” She agreed. I wanted her to understand and create a visual for her that every time she used the word ‘but’ to justify why she would not try to pursue what she said she wanted and get this, had an opportunity to accomplish it, that it was like staring at her own butt in her face. If she refused to take action based on something someone else had told her she was now staring at their butt in her face. She laughed and got my point.
Putting your ‘butt in your face and in your way” is what I call “excuses and limitations we tell ourselves that keep us sitting still and doing absolutely nothing.” I can still feel the burning in my thighs as my personal trainer encouraged me to do one more squat to build the fabulous butt I desired. How else was I going to fit into my nice jeans (smile). It burned. I wanted to cry. It was worth it. In other words, I accepted I had a butt and I wanted to make it work for me and not against me. In the same way, anyone desiring to achieve their dreams or goals must have a way to handle the ‘buts’ and produce something wonderful and useful.
It’s funny nowadays there are nicer terms used to describe the “butt.” Check it out, buttocks, backside, derriere, bumps, apples and my trainer’s favorite- gluteus.” Heyyyyyy. Right now I am dancing and hearing the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, Da Butt. Sing it with me now, “doing da butt. sexy, sexy. when you get that notion, put your backfield in motion. hey. doing da butt.”
So what will it take for you to move those ‘buts’ that are in your way and blocking you from having the life you want?
Last Thursday, I had the pleasure of having lunch with Mrs. Paulette Pearson-Washington along with a room full of other beautiful and talented young ladies and women. Paulette is an accomplished woman who happens to be the wife of Oscar Award Winner, Denzel Washington. She reminded us that she was an established and fulfilled women before meeting Denzel and that by marrying him, it simply helped to enhance what she already had working for herself. Of course, there was applause and chants of “you go, girl” and “well, all right now.”
I knew that I would have the chance to meet her and there were a couple of things I wanted to ask of her. My immediate plans include writing and publishing my first book by May 2009. Based on her speech that day and having read the forward written by both Denzel andPaulette Washington included in the book entitled Quiet Strength by Coach Tony Dungy, I knew that we shared similar beliefs and values. Like me, she too is a woman of faith who takes her relationship with God seriously. The difference is that Paulette Pearson-Washington has used her faith principles and practices to accomplish things that I am desiring to do as well.
I strongly believe in connecting with and learning from others who have dared to dream and are willing to share the steps they took to make it happen. This was apparent by the fact that she accepted an invitation to come to Kansas City, Kansas for the 2nd Annual Dare to Believe Women’s Luncheon put on by the Kansas City Kansas Public School Distict USD 500. As she stood talking, I sat at the table next to other powerful women who had their own success stories. I also realized I had not had the chance to ask Paulette if she would consider writing the forward for my book and being my mentor. Suddenly, the mistress of ceremonies for the luncheon, Christal Watson, asked if anyone in the audience had a question for Paulette. Paulette only had time for 3 questions because she needed to catch a plane back home in time for her son, Malcolm’s basketball game.
Stunned by the quietness, Christal said, “no one has a question for her?” I had told myself that I was not going to ask a question because I didn’t want to appear overly anxious, besides I had briefly spoke with Paulette during the VIP reception as we took a picture together. The problem was that I did not ask for the information that I was really after. Before I knew it, a lady next to me nudged me and said, “I know you have a question.” I thought great. She’s a mind reader. Actually she was a woman that I had shared details of my dream and present goals with.
She too saw the connection and possibilities. Initially, I told her I didn’t have a question. She insisted that I did and deep down inside I knew I did but……. There’s that word again. As I thought about whether or not I would take advantage of this opportunity, I noticed in my notes a few things that Paulette had shared with us that I wrote down. She said, “Dreaming is one thing, but to step out on faith is another. This takes a certain belief- no fear- and the obedience to the Father, trusting that if you step out on faith, He’s got you covered.” She went on to say, “….if you don’t have it at home, we all have to pitch in.”
Before I knew it, I was standing up asking my questions, even in front of a large crowd of young women and girls. Notice I said, I stood up, which means I had to get up off “my butt.” Now I can’t tell you I wasn’t nervous. I was so nervous that I wanted to climb under the table I was sitting at. No one knew this except me and ok, the lady next to me that had read my mind earlier (lol). What happened next was wonderful. A young high-school girl also stood up and asked Mrs. Washington if she would come visit her high school. She said, ‘Yes.” Another girl asked her, “Why did you come to Kansas to talk to us?” Mrs. Washington answered, “We [women & girls] are so great. We’re so necessary. I have a passion for women and girls.”
In each case, both girls stood up and asked their questions meaning they also stopped sitting down on their “butts.” Are you still sitting down or are you standing up ready to make the phone call you’ve been putting off, enrolling in the school you’ve been talking about attending, ending the toxic relationships that you know are holding you back, and still accepting excuses and limitations that are blocking your view of and ability to produce a better life for yourself?
If you are, then “your butt is too big and in your face!” Guess what? You can still move it out of your way.
FYI: Keep visiting my website (www.DeloresInspiresMe.com) for the release date and title of my first book. I just know you are going to read the forward also (smile).
Be Blessed and Inspired,
Delores M. Jones
